Don’t Say A Word


Tonight we’ll be celebrating Sam’s birthday by ordering pizza and watching TV. Doesn’t sound like much of a celebration, does it? That’s because it’s not. It’s what we do every Tuesday.

I’ve been ‘celebrating’ Sam’s birthday with him since he was 17, and I can’t remember him ever giving a flying fart about the day he was welcomed into the world – not even when he turned 21. It’s just not his thing. Parties thrown in his honor make him terribly uncomfortable, gifts are always too much and when people sing Happy Birthday to him he sort of starts glancing around as if he’s looking for the nearest exit.

So in theory we do not celebrate his birthday, because that’s the way he likes it. In practice, Sam has been receiving gifts from family and friends since early November, and this will probably continue well into February. The trick is to give him things he doesn’t view as presents, downplay your ‘random act of kindness’ as much as you can and not mentioning his birthday.

Currently, Sam:
1. Has new tires on his truck because his parents got a ‘good deal’,
2. Will be going to a concert because one of his sisters had ‘an extra ticket’,
3. Received a CD one of my brothers ‘got for free and already had’,
4. Will be going to a basketball game because one of my other brothers ‘would be in town anyway and wanted to go’.

As for me, I booked us a weekend away in a fancy hotel 135 miles down the road because ‘I desperately need a weekend away’. Which is also why my brother Raven ‘happens’ to be in town – he’ll be taking care of Cole and Sadie, while my in-laws take the babies. Oddly enough nobody was brave enough to commit themselves to taking all four of our minions for the weekend. Imagine that.

So, all in all, it looks like Sam will be celebrating his 25th in style. Basketball on Friday and spending Saturday and Sunday in a city that he loves. Not bad, right?

Now let’s hope he isn’t on to us.


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